I was just thinking about

The other day, I reached in my pocket and found....kleenex and money. A few days later, a different jacket...more kleenex and more money. It reminded me of the good ole' days when my sister and I needed cash. We knew if we searched my mom's jacket pockets we'd have a pretty good chance of finding some amongst the ~ you guessed it ~ kleenex (and it wasn't always the clean kind).

Hmmm....

Mon Nov 26, 12:00 AM ET

Junk Mail

We get a tremendous amount of junk mail. On any given day, we'll get 4-5 advertisements for credit cards. Apparently, someone thinks we don't have enough credit cards. Throughout the day and into the evening, we will get several solicitors calling. Most are very nice when we ask them to take our name off of their calling list. At this time of the year, the catalogs we receive increases substantially. Every catalog we have ever ordered from, or not, sends us one just on the off chance we'll choose their products. I find this frustrating, annoying and wasteful. I'm on a campaign to get our name removed from as many lists as possible. I am also concerned about identity theft, and found a good article (I'm sure there are many out there), with some worthwhile information: http://www1.cj.msu.edu/~outreach/identity/optout_protect_privacy.pdf.

If you're interested, there are several websites and phone numbers to assist you in getting your name taken off of marketing lists. Here are a few: 1-888-5OPTOUT (1-888-567-8688), optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t, catalogchoice.org, dmaconsumer.org/consumerassistance.html, ftc.gov/donotcall, 1-888-382-1222. Please feel free to pass on any other websites or numbers you are aware of. This can be a time consuming project, but in the long run, I think it sends an important message. Thanks for indulging me in my efforts.

Timbra and Alani come for a visit

In between my VT cycling and San Diego Red Cross trips, we enjoyed a visit from two of our favorite people ~ Timbra and Alani. I encourage you to read all about our trip on Timbra's blog, as she did a great job capturing all the finer moments in words and pictures. We had a great time while they were here, enjoying some of the local sights, spending a day exploring Seattle, enduring a storm and power outage, and in general, loving all of the entertainment a 16-month old can provide ~ which at this age includes songs, silliness, and lots of cuddling and kisses! There's none better!

We take on the strength of that which we overcome

Many of you watched and read about the horrific San Diego fires that raged on, burning countless miles of land, homes, and killing and injuring civilians, firefighters, and animals. During disasters such as these, many agencies deploy to provide the aid necessary to help fight the fires and assist in the rebuilding and healing process. I am fortunate to deploy on behalf of the American Red Cross. My role is to provide Disaster Mental Health services to those in need, which includes those affected by the fire, directly or indirectly, and the community, which would include first responders, other agencies involved in the disaster, and our own ARC staff and volunteers.

A little about the process. ARC provides us with a travel agent, who assists us in making our flight arrangements. ARC also provides us with a pre-filled debit card for miscellaneous expenses, including food. We do not have any other information at the time of our departure, including where we will be staying, so we are told to pack as though we will be sleeping in a staff shelter. We are provided with a number to call when we arrive at our destination.

Day One ~ When I arrived in San Diego, I called the number and was told to report to the Avis desk and look for other volunteers, and rent a car. When I got on the Avis bus, I heard my first fire story. The fire was during the same week as the World Series. The bus driver told me that one of his riders asked him to say "Go Rockies!" The bus driver complied, and then the man told him that he was a firefighter who had chosen to give up his world series tickets to come and fight the fires. Wow!

In the Avis office, I looked around for other volunteers, saw none, so I rented a car. They had directions to our headquarters, where I was to go report in. When I arrived, there were a few hundred people milling around. This was the beginning of the deployment, so there was a good amount of confusion. I went through the registration process, and attended the general orientation. I was then told to come back the next morning. I headed outside and asked a few people if they needed rides to our hotel; three grateful ladies and I piled our luggage and ourselves into the car and took off for the hotel. We were assigned to the La Costa, which is a world class tennis and spa resort. It was a bit crazy with all the Red Cross vehicles, and I wondered how the other guests felt about this. We heard throughout the week that there was some criticism about our accommodations. One thing to remember is there were thousands of people displaced by the fire, which meant they were staying in shelters and in many cases hotels. La Costa was undergoing some construction, so were unable to rent several of their rooms, and these were the ones we occupied. I'm sure they gave ARC an amazing discount, and possibly donated the rooms.

Day Two ~ We reported in and headed to our DMH (Disaster Mental Health) orientation. After this, we went to the DMH office and reported in. I was treated extra special because I was one of a few that had cars. We were given our first assignment of a shelter. Two people volunteered to go with me, so we headed out, address in hand. When we arrived at the shelter, we were told they were closing down. (Many of the shelters were located in schools, and as the schools re-opened we were no longer able to use the facility). We headed back to HQ, and were told that we were up for a "really good assignment." This ended up being a new protocol for the ARC; having DMH assigned to mobile feeding units (ERVs), first aid stations, and distribution trucks. Distribution trucks are stationed at various centers and provide basic resources, such as shovels, rakes, water, snacks, clean-up kits, and hygiene kits. Several of us then caravaned to the airport to pick up more cars. We split into teams of two; my teammate was also our assigned supervisor.

Day Three ~ We reported into the distribution truck and were initially met with some resistance. What can I say, people don't like change. We stayed for a bit, and then headed to a mobile home community that was without water, and though not affected by the fires, they had a significant amount of wind damage. We spent most of the day coordinating supplies and food for the residents. Many shared their stories of refusing to evacuate, and spending the night in vigil watching the fires on the ridge. In the 2003 fires, they had lost about a third of their homes. There were a number of children and teens who hadn't been able to return to school, so they were more than happy to pitch in and help. We hoped in some small way this experience might offer them a chance to make a different choice in their future than the one most obviously before them.

Day Four ~ Today, we drove about 300 miles. In the early part of the day, I felt pretty good about our assignment, which was to drive into a rural area, a few miles from the Mexico border, significantly impacted by the fires. There were several road closures, but because of our ARC status, we were allowed to go through. We stopped at several different sites only to be told they had more DMH then they needed. Several were feeling the frustration of not enough to do. (One of issues that ARC deals with is people self-reassigning when they don't feel effective in their post). We reported this information back to our manager, checked in on the mobile home community and called it a day.

Day Five ~ Back to the distribution truck, and at last the "real work" began. We met dozens of people throughout the day whose homes were burned. Many were just going back for the first time, or had just returned from seeing their homes. Most were numb with shock and despair. Some felt embarrassed by their tears, trying to keep a brave face as we talked. Our words of comfort and hope seemed feeble at best, though I could feel an appreciation amongst the angst at being able to share their fears, grief, and stories. I could see a glimpse of resilience as they spoke, all their physical possessions were lost, yet there was gratitude that they and their families were unharmed. Their hearts were broken, they had questions without answers, and their minds reeled with shock as they recalled picking up their wedding ring only to have it crumble to ash, realizing all their children's drawings and special letters were gone, their spouse's first love letter ~ gone. Our role was to be listen, to provide information, to listen some more, and let them grieve, while instilling hope and accessing their inner strength to get through this difficult time. The distribution team warmed up to us throughout the day, and were comfortable coming to us with frustrations or particularly difficult stories. They would also ask us to help with clients they identified. This was a positive break through for our team.

Day Six ~ Halloween. A kind neighbor of mind gave me some funds to use when I saw a need. I choose to buy Halloween candy to hand out throughout the day. As people came for supplies, this gave me an opportunity to get them to slow down and enjoy a brief moment of happiness. Eyes lit up as I asked if they liked candy. Many hadn't eaten all day, so we would head them toward our ERV for lunch, with a huge handful of candy for dessert. Meeting the most basic survival needs at times like this is crucial. One gentleman shared that he hadn't been able to get a moment to himself as he and several other family members were now sharing a very small space together. He had stayed behind the day before enjoying a shower, a nice pot of coffee, and an opportunity to sit down and write a list for his insurance. When I first met him, he was unwilling to look at me and would gruffly respond to my presence. As he was leaving, there was some laughter and he was willing to look into my eyes ~ more difficult times are ahead for this man, but he had one brief moment of healing and hope. I met another gentleman who shared that his home had been on the damaged list, but when he went to see it, it was completely destroyed. He was amazed and overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support from the community. The San Diego Chargers made an appearance today, bringing with them two trucks filled with much needed supplies. Tonight, we were given new housing assignments. A hotel, more conveniently located, and once again I am fortunate to have a room to myself.

Day Seven ~ Yesterday was the last day for our assignment at Cuyamaca College in La Jolla. Today, we headed to Rancho Bernardo. This is a densely populated area, with a number of neighborhoods burned out. It's a bit shocking to drive down a "normal" looking street, and suddenly everything around you is burned. One of the other challenges people are dealing with, is having their own home unharmed, yet several houses around them completely burned. Some have "survivor guilt," why them and not me. We continue to see a good amount of clients each day, but there is a shift in their needs. Many are beginning to find more permanent housing, and are able to move out of shelters or hotels. They have met with Fema, ARC, and their insurances. There are plans to rebuild. There is less numbing and shock, as the future unfolds once again with hope. In the parking lot, I was approached by a gentleman who wanted to show me his new clothes. He had received some funds through the ARC, and he and his wife had been able to stretch the dollars, with various stores offering additional discounts. He was pleased that he was being a good steward of his funds. Throughout the day, many will stop to express their appreciation to us, and this helps us to know that there is healing. Unfortunately, there are a few who take advantage of some of the items we are handing out. (In order to get funds from the ARC, you have to have a damage assessment, but to take a shovel, water, food, etc., there is no proof required). This causes frustration in our distribution truck teams, and when we see this going on, we'll look for opportunities to talk with them. We also had police and fire stop by to chat, and often they had similar frustrations. I am glad we are there for those who need to talk about this.

Day Eight~ We thought yesterday was our last day, but learned that we will be staying through the weekend. Today, I met some "survivors of the Cedar Fires," from 2003. They had some great insights, and it was wonderful to see them showing their support to those currently affected. They have written a book about rebuilding after the fire, which from what I hear, has some great useable information. Over the last couple of days, we have had Mickey Mouses to hand out. These, similar to the candy, give us an opportunity to approach people, and in many cases we weren't only handing out Mickeys to children. There were several adults who needed that little extra bit of comfort. Thanks Disney!

Day Nine ~ Today, Flo and I will head home. We report into the distribution truck, which has been given large volumes to give away in a relatively short time. This makes it difficult to make many individual contacts as there is a flurry of activity over all the "new stuff." At one point during the morning, I went into the staff cafeteria. Sitting alone, was a Tzu Chi volunteer. She said she would like a Mickey Mouse, so I gave her the one I was holding. She clung tight to that little guy, while sharing her story with me. Tzu Chi is a Buddhist organization. They have millions of members, and ask each to donate $1 a month. In addition, they recycle for funds. The volunteers pay for their own transportation and housing, and travel to disasters, providing additional assistance to those affected. She shared they had given out more than $500,000 for this disaster, and were expecting to stay for an additional two weeks. In order to qualify for ARC funds, you have to meet certain criteria. Tzu Chi gives out a $500 debit card to those who meet the ARC criteria, and also to many who do not. What an amazing example of servitude. Off we went to "out process," where we were informed that there was still work to be done. Unfortunately, this had not been communicated to us, so management decided to release us, as it would be too costly to change our plane tickets at the last minute. Flo and I said our goodbyes, as she would not be leaving until the next day.

This was my second ARC deployment, and an amazing experience. There is so much need during times of disaster, at times an overwhelming amount. Many asked how I handle working in this environment. We, as therapists, are encouraged to learn the fine art of self care ~ stay in contact with loved ones, get adequate rest, drink plenty of water, eat healthy, journal, exercise ~ these are the basics. For me, having a room all to myself each night was the best "self-care" contributor (actually, second to Bill, Timbra and Haley). We also know we can rely on our colleagues if we have a particularly tough case. The times of frustration came for me, not when I was working with clients, but when I was feeling ineffective, such as the day when we drove so many miles. I shared this frustration openly and honestly with my supervisor and we worked on a solution, which we were able to implement.

Thanks for taking the time to read of my experience, and for all your kind words of support and encouragement!

Vermont Bicycling Trip ~ Three posts below this one.

Takin' on the "Man"

A month or so ago, I got a parking ticket at the ferry building. Was I ever shocked! We have those machines where you roll dollars up into little cigarettes and push them through the slot. And, as I'm a rule follower, that is exactly what I did. Plus, why would I not pay and then have to pay double and have a record?????? Anyway, I sent my check in, along with a letter of explanation. Guess what! Yesterday, I got a refund with a form letter stating "This matter having come before the undersigned Judge of the above-entitled Court and the Court having reviewed the records, it is hereby ORDERED: The infraction was found Not committed. The funds already paid shall be refunded." Now that was worth a 41 cent stamp and 15 minutes of my time.